ego feeding

so.... there is one thing about l.a. which i find remarkable.
that is i have never *ever* had so much attention paid to my physical being in my entire life.

it's completely inane! like everyone out here is a bundle of walking hormones, and apparently i sprouted some sort of "hot" wings (pun intended) recently because no one really gave me the time of day in nyc. and suddenly l.a. has decided i'm "hot."

i've never been "hot" before in my life. i don't even know what to do with the notion that it might be true. and while i realize some of you might think this blog entry is an ego trip, i swear it is based in my true bewilderment over the way people seem to be perceiving me just in the last 6-12 months.

completely fucking weird.

so i went home to michigan for the holidays, and was so relieved to be able to wear comfy clothes and not have to be "on" all the time. and for most of the trip i had not a single experience with anyone even looking at me twice. just another frumpy midwestern girl. i think i feel a lot more comfortable with those labels... at least i know what they actually mean.