PLEASE watch it's hilarious--and right!

go obama!

yup, that's my candidate. a lot of people from throughout my life may have expected me to be a clinton girl, based on my feminist ideals. why obama? let me use the words of the amazing toni morrison, who has managed to speak my mind much more eloquently than i ever do....

"In addition to keen intelligence, integrity and a rare authenticity, you exhibit something that has nothing to do with age, experience, race or gender and something I don't see in other candidates. That something is a creative imagination which coupled with brilliance equals wisdom. It is too bad if we associate it only with gray hair and old age. Or if we call searing vision naivete. Or if we believe cunning is insight. Or if we settle for finessing cures tailored for each ravaged tree in the forest while ignoring the poisonous landscape that feeds and surrounds it. Wisdom is a gift; you can't train for it, inherit it, learn it in a class, or earn it in the workplace — that access can foster the acquisition of knowledge, but not wisdom."

greedy? sorta....

so here's what i plan to do when i win the mega millions!

• lump sum it if it's under $100 million
• put half into investments & savings (including some real estate)
• complete the college funds for my nieces & nephews
• give each family member some bucks (# depends on jackpot!)
  
• give the people who make my survival job bearable a few grand, as well as the few true friends i actually have
  
• find an amazing script to fund (and star in, natch)
• donate to handpicked charitable organizations involving women, animals, and CF research
  
• take a NICE vacation (nice=long and to many places)
• restore my man's vintage mercedes & get my own vintage mustang working~once i find it

so there! i plan to share a lot of the money, put it to some good use, and generate more for my family's future. i think that should put me on the short list for "deserving."

don't you?
c'mon universe! hand it over!!

well thank god SOMEone is paying attention

and SOMEone with some public status is talking about this...

touchy touchy

well, i got lambasted earlier today for sharing (via email) a concise breakdown of a (clearly generalized, but still based in truth) list of defining beliefs for today's republican. this is interesting to me because instead of coming back with other information to refute these points or clarify his own thinking on these topics, i was criticized for sharing this by a self-proclaimed republican, who then accused me of being indecent for not asking about his personal beliefs. i'm pretty sure that email was an open invitation to debate. and i found it pretty interesting at what level of indignance he responded.
and by the way, i'm a registered independent, so i get all kinds of propaganda and criticism. :) i also think anyone who's afraid or unwilling to look at their own beliefs (or those of a party, if they are a die-hard party member) and consider others are living in ignorance of the facts, and ignoring the possibility that the reality doesn't fit the idea anymore.
at any rate, i would think this was amusing if it didn't scare me so much. if the supposedly intelligent & open-minded of my generation can't even respond to criticism of their political stance with confidence and fact and conviction (beyond complaining about being called out) i fear that our country will continue to elect "leaders" who do not have the well-being of the country at heart. only that of their party, and usually that of the most hardline of that party.
this goes for democrats too, mind you. i just happen to believe that the current administration deserved to be addressed specifically, which is what that email did. and it just happens to be republican.
well, another one bites the dust. i can't believe people think differing opinions can't make for interesting & enlightening conversation between intelligent adults instead of rifts in relationships. i think that is what i call close-minded.
eh, what can you do? and if yr gonna say "shut up," i have to say that will never happen. i believe in free speech~sorry! :)

i always thought....

that the hard part was figuring out what you wanted to do with your life. what you were "supposed" to do. what you could embrace as a career that would keep you whole in the rest of your life and prevent you from looking back at the age of 40 or 50, miserable in your work existence and thinking, "where did it all go? i wonder what might have happened if i had only tried..."

i have talked about this a lot in my life to those close to me. maybe i have even blogged about it before, i've no idea. but it is on my mind again.

it is hard to grasp how difficult it is, has been, to follow my path in life. how much my particular journey requires the help and acceptance of others in regards to my purpose and joy in life. it is unlike most other careers, where you can take hard work, study, commitment, perseverance and turn it all into opportunity just by the virtue of doing it. here, in this place of art-work that i live, you have to do all that and still have virtually no control over your destiny in terms of success.

and let me clarify that success is defined by the individual. i just want to make a living where i am not required to work a survival job to make ends meet. i don't have to be filthy rich or famous or any of that. i simply would like to be a working actor who can subsist off that work. and the joy of doing that work and being ALLOWED to do that work will satisfy the rest of my needs. (and if the universe saw fit to make me filthy rich or famous or whatever, i would do my very best to handle it with grace and humility. if i didn't, there is certainly a long list of people who would line up to give me a swift kick in the ego~or the ass.)

i sure hope my destiny arrives at my doorstep soon. thank god i know what it is, and have known for some time. but i am not the most patient person in the world and it had already been a long time coming. so i hope hope hope that it shows its face before i get overwhelmed and doubtful. because i know that wouldn't be the truth, it would only be a level of exhaustion i could no longer fight off.

high time for a salt bath

so all day long i have had the michael jackson song "don't stop till you get enough" running thru my head. why? well, two reasons... first and foremost, i was splashing around in the lovely blue-green waves of the pacific ocean on my boogie board for upwards of an hour without stopping. hell, i never even got my towel out of my bag to chill in the sun for a while before my parking meter had choked down its last quarter and sent me jogging back, dripping saltwater and smiles.
the second reason is that i had another moment of self-awareness in my salty meditation time today, wherein i recognized again my drive and passion for my career as an actor. the constant question from loved ones and strangers alike of "how long are you going to keep doing this?" was answered deep in my soul once again. the same answer that's always been there when i stop to take a real look. only this time i was answered with a good jaunty rhythm and semi-disco beat. "don't stop till you get enough."
i won't. believe me, i won't.