Monday, February 28, 2005


it seems odd to me that my building manager and building...well i guess he's technically the super, but i use that term loosely, as his main skill seems to be leering at me and trying to talk me into staying in the garage with him and his boombox whenever possible. anyway, i digress. it seems odd that the mgr and "super" would not have responded to a call i made yesterday morning about a water leak.
we all know how quickly water can spread, and how much damage it can potentially cause. especially those of us living in so-cal right now, who have actually seen houses crashed in on themselves on the hillsides.
so, 24 hours later i am forced to make another call, where i finally speak to the mgr--and he tells me he's gotten calls from 2 other tenants now.
that sounds really....NOT reassuring at all.
particularly since
  1. i am not on the top floor
  2. part of the leak is occurring down/on/in the wall which holds my fuse box
  3. the major part of the leak seems to be coming from above my water heater. and by now the whole ceiling area above it appears soaked...while i am only venturing a guess that my upstairs neighbor's water heater is positioned directly above mine, it seems a bit possible that a huge appliance will come crashing through my ceiling at any moment.

fun monday. fun fun fun

i think i'll try to make myself scarce whenever "super" boy finally gets here. least ivan will be pleased that my escape will include a trip to buy him food.

live--i alone

it's easier not to be wise/and measure these things by your brains/I sank into eden with you/alone in the church by and by/I'll read to you here save your eyes/you'll need them your boat is at sea/your anchor is up you've been swept away/and the greatest of teachers won't hesitate/to leave you there by yourself/chained to fate/I alone love you/I alone tempt you/I alone love you/fear is not the end of this/it's easier not to be great/and measure these things by your eyes/we long to be here by his resolve/alone in the church by and by/to cradle the baby in space/and leave you there by yourself/chained to fate/I alone love you/I alone tempt you/I alone love you/fear is not the end of this/oh, now, we took it back too far,/only love can save us now, all these riddles that you burn/all come runnin' back to you, all these rhythms that you hide/only love can save us now, all these riddles that you burn/yeah, yeah, yeah

sorry, but after all the oscar songs i felt the need for some downhome 90s rock.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

ah, the voice of wisdom

yet another reason to adore morgan freeman.
he speaks the truth, even if it's ill-received by some.
sounds familiar.
though he is a bit more diplomatic about it i suppose.....

Saturday, February 26, 2005

ani difranco

can i just bloggle for a bit on about how amazing her music is? i mean neverminding the actual music, the highs and lows of her folksy yet grindy rhythms and blues, BUT--her lyrics just....agh. they annihilate me.
there never fails to be a song she's written to fit whatever my mood, circumstance, etc. and since i can't really write, but can certainly sing, it's the perfect perfect outlet.
if i ever get good enough on the guitar to be able to accompany myself with her music, y'all better look out. i'll never stop.

today's winner, from the little plastic castle album: glass house
and of course, gravel is always a winner, even moreso since the dismissal of the never-a-good-friend never-a-good-lay never-very-kind let-me-way-down-every-time boy.

and last but not least, my new personal favorite, from self-titled: rush hour
this snippet in particular, not fully in the lyrics, and she adds it in at the end of the song...
and there were some things that I did not tell him/there were certain things he did not need to know/and there were some days that I did not love him/and he didn't understand me/and I don't know why I didn't go/and he didn't understand me/and he had every chance to know

and yes, i really am done being bitter...
but that doesn't mean i'm done thinking.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

more on friends

do you have people that come in and out of your life in a constantly questionable presence? or is this just me?
this has happened often in my life, but at this posting i am speaking of a specific situation. the problem with these people is that one is (i.e., i am) never quite certain if they mean to be friends with you or not.
they seem happy to hear from you when you look them up.
they say they are glad you did look them up.
they even stay in contact for a few exchanges.

and then wham.


i truly do not understand this. yet to complain about it makes one appear...well, pathetic, needy, loser-like. but at the same time, one does not go through the trouble to get back in touch with people they've lost along the way without planning to keep things up this time around.

therein lies the rub.

what's a girl to do?

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

old friends and new

yesterday i was able, unexpectedly, to hang out with an old friend from nyc, and it was so nice to be with someone to whom i don't have to explain myself. just meaning that it's not that beginning stages of friendship where you are little more censored, a little more pulled in.
i guess those of you who know me may be shocked (or just laughing) at the idea of me holding anything back. but in my own way i do get rather shy and/or careful sometimes. and picking your life up and starting over brand new and blind in a new place, as i've done twice now, is not always easy or fun. meeting people and establishing friendships from the ground up--also very challenging at times.
at any rate, it was a pleasure to see him again, and to meet his good friend & fellow photographer from boston. and we had a great time disrupting the enjoyment of other guests in the hotel bar at the sheraton gateway. who could ask for anything more?

Monday, February 21, 2005

fake love

i have had some really beautiful/sexy, really talented leading men play opposite me in my lifetime. and for whatever reason (probably because i was usually dating someone else) i never had the what-seems-to-be common problem of falling for your fellow actor. however... the project i just finished, i was opposite my leading man very little of the time, and while we connected quite well on camera, we didn't always in the green room. until the last 2 days of shooting, when we spent hours waltzing together, and found our rhythm there and elsewise. and i do believe, that right about then, he stole a little bit of my bruised-up used-up heart. and though i'm not sure why, i have my theory.... i do find dancing, that sort of dancing, very intimate. and i don't think that's just my opinion.

if he wasn't so much younger that i would ruin him, i would consider getting in the middle of that. unfortunately, i am an old hag to his young buck. and that just wouldn't be fair, mrs. robinson.

maybe i just need to get laid.
and then i have to chuckle.
it's good being able to step back when you know you should. aka, experience-gained self-control.

Friday, February 18, 2005

your point?

from today's NY daily news:

>snip< Friends no more? I hope Sen. Hillary Clinton isn't counting on help from Hollywood mogul David Geffen in her possible run for the White House in 2008. Geffen, a generous supporter and pal of Bill Clinton when he was President, trashed Hillary's prospects last night during a Q&A at the 92nd St. Y. "She can't win, and she's an incredibly polarizing figure," the billionaire Democrat told his audience. "And ambition is just not a good enough reason." Geffen's dis was met with hearty applause.

what was geffen's point in making these statements? i mean really. i'm not saying he should support hillary because he supported bill, i'm not even making a claim that his statements are necessarily wrong. just don't see what his purpose was in demeaning one of the few intellectual female role models we have in our country at this time, who is visible enough to be a recognizable icon to the upcoming generation of females. trying to cut down a woman's determination, and labeling it with a word like "ambition" (which is traditionally seen with a negative connotation when applied to women, and positive when applied to men--go figure) is just a continuation of our culture's tendency to find something wrong or offensive with strong, intelligent women, who are willing to go after what they want.

god forbid we only have "women" like britney spears left to use as reference points for the next generation...

Thursday, February 17, 2005


i'm not jewish, it's true. but spend enough time working in nyc banking firms and, well, as someone i used to work with once said, you become an honorary jew just by virtue of acquiring their holidays.
so, OY because, well, i have been out indulging myself in some alcohol, an event which is so much more rare than it was when i lived in nyc (thank god for the subway...or not) and i happened to get involved in a conversation about cheating lovers...not my favorite topic in the last 3 months.
oy, oy, oy.
my one question was never answered though, and i don't think it ever is: why don't you just break up instead of cheating? people must be out to wound others--that's my only semi-valid theory.
eh, or they are just ridiculously disrespectful.
anyway. beyond all that, i am pleased to see the re-emergence of an old friend who disappeared for a while. that's always pleasant.
unless you've slept together.
then, sometimes, it sucks.
i think that cali is growing on me, simply because...
well, the usual reason--i can start over.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

in an effort to restrain myself

i have created this "extra" blog. i had the best intentions of posting only about the biz and actor related stuff on my other blog, but, well...i find there are oftentimes more interesting things to discuss.

yes it's true--an actor who doesn't always want to talk about themselves and what they're working on.

so here we go. i make no restrictions on this blog, so read at your own risk!

>paste< okay, so i'm not starving. yes, i got a lobster steamed at albertson's tonight and cooked myself a lovely hearts-and-flowers day meal when i got home. single life ain't too bad, ya know, even though people think today sucks for us unattached's. i was even able to eat in my running pants and hoodie on the living room floor while i watched t.v. here's to finding someone who likes hanging at home with me and the cat more than bar-hopping.